Okay so my mom and I were talking today on the way back from eating dinner, and she was like, “I told your dad that I think that you’re a lot happier this year than you were last year.” I was like “Uh, okay? How so?”
She said that I looked a lot more comfortable in a high school setting and I actually found a circle of friends that I could associate with and not feel awkward. Or rather, that’s how I interpreted it.
Yeah but I was like woo! Yay! Then we went into a discussion about how cool I was and stuff. No; I am jk.
But like I’m pretty cool and glad that I’m finally adjusting to high school life, and she said that another reason I might have felt uncomfortable last year was because Rose was in the same school as me (the first time since…England?) and I didn’t know how to act, her being so great and all.
Yeah but like even though Rose is absolutely awesome, the pressure that I feel from her isn’t really like “I must do as well as Rose” pressure; it’s like an “I must act in a completely calm and cool way in order to retain my composure around Rose’s peeps because there is no way I am going to be accepted by a society which bases siblings off of siblings and second impressions off of first impressions” pressure. Yeah I actually get that from some people, for example the “azn mob” that’s talked about so often. Well, “azn mob” as in referring to lalala we’re so cool because we’re overly hormonal and we have no life and stick together all the time BFFLZZZ <333 whereas I’m just like …no. I mean if said azns always stick together, nothing’s going to be accomplished like ever and we’re just going to be further separated from the rest of society.
I venture further to say that the group I hang out with, although mostly guys, is quite social in its own way. Well, basically, the people in the group associate with other people besides azns or have non-group friends with which they often talk, etc. I mean see, Greg? the freshmen, basically anyone who is in the vicinity (hahaHAHAHA); Sam? his imaginary friend Frederico (I am jk; I mean the fact that he has Holmdel forums up for everyone); Horace? Bryan Cocchiara, Andrew Apicello (possibly?); KevHsu? his runner friends; Tamsh? her runner friends, etc. etc. etc.
It seems that our group isn’t really like a clique but more like a conventional confederation (haha APUS), and I would like to keep it that way. After all, such a group provides more freedom for each individual; one is not required to keep “friends first” or whatever, because everyone’s friends are different. I mean, of course; we have a couple of people in the group with whom we are closer (LAMBDA), but you know, it’s like we have other friends. We’re not just going to rely on one group of people. (I’m using the personal We. Whatever.)
Yeah that’s the best thing; if a sovereignty is in trouble, the rest of the confederacy (unlike the American Confederacy) will rush to that sovereignty’s help, but the confederacy is more like an understood thing, and we don’t necessarily have to have the confederacy around us 24/7 in order to make ourselves more comfortable with our environment or whatever.
I’m finding that track helps me a lot in associating with more people, especially those who aren’t in my grade. =D After all, my goals, my goals!!!
Oh right, speaking of track, my hamstring is practically healed (I mean okay, it still hurts a little bit, but only after practice), so I can go back to running! Paula said I did really well today despite my being injured for two weeks. Thank you, Paula. =DDD Yeah but seriously, I’m glad that I can work hard now and not really kill myself over it. I don’t want to like overwork and pull it again, but you know, it’s the thought that counts or whatever.
Um yeah back to my subject: reflecting on what my mom said, I guess I’m pretty much settled into the grade. I mean, during Italian I’m pretty good with helping people and I make fun of Vinny along with everyone else (because it’s the COOL thing to do!!! Actually, no; it’s just my way to show I care about his social safety and that he must BE QUIET in order to learn and stop asking dumb questions). In McDonald, I stepped on like Kevin Owen’s bag and everyone started laughing hysterical because they think I’m like a complete retard or something.
Or maybe they laughed because after I stepped on his bag (there was a large CRAAACKKKK), I was like, “That wasn’t my fault.” So everyone was like LAWLAWLAWL and whatever.
So after I went up and did my poem and all that (which was practically FLAWLESS, might I say) and some other people go, Mr. Dante (the “impartial” judge) is like, the winner is Salina.
What?
Yeah how did that happen? She stopped in the middle of her poem because she forgot it, and I didn’t really get anything from her voice influx to convey the meaning of her poem. Yeah I wasn’t paying attention, but I seriously don’t remember anything about her poem at all (whereas I remember Rob Palermo’s, Niti’s, and Kenny’s presentations quite vividly), because…yeah. Stuff.
Mmhmm. So I’m being me and I’m like lalala I don’t think she deserved it lalala while implying that someone else should’ve gotten it (for example, I should’ve), just not her and stuff. =| Well, sure, she’s smart and she studies a lot, but this time I don’t think she was deserving of the prize, because she definitely wasn’t the best presentation, and I’m beginning to question if teachers are starting to develop a bias against everyone else because she’s her.
I doubt it. But like whatever; my thinking is that as long as other people think I’m cool and I have a social record of being an awesome person, I’m all good and I’ve already beaten her in my own way. Dude, like practically (minus possibly about fifty people) the whole grade knows who I am and is cool with me as a person. Do I see that about her? No, not really.
I know, I know; I’m superficial like that in that social rep is what matters, but I don’t really think so. High School, aside from the whole…YOUR GRADES MATTER FOR COLLEGE is a quest for your social status on a small scale. Am I right, or am I right? High School reflects what is going to happen to a person in real life, academically or socially. One’s appeal to the general public can be corrected in High School, whereas it is almost irreversible once adulthood kicks in.
And so comes my main point: It is essentially NECESSARY to apply yourself in High School. How much effort you put into it is how much you get out (and perhaps a bit more, depending on your luck). I could support this with excerpts from J.D. Salinger’s Catcher in the Rye and its subsequent literary criticism, but no one wants to listen to that; that’s for my essay. Haha no not really; my thesis is completely different.
Well see, EXPERIENCE EXPERIENCE EXPERIENCE. Another point my mom made today was that as long as I exercise (tennis, track, a sport), I would get used to a cycle that will probably reflect work hours in the future. I mean, right? The fact that I am still doing pretty darn well in school (I have to admit; I’m sorry, ego! =0) while participating in all these extracurriculars and stuff is pretty crazy. Come Junior year, my schedule isn’t really going to change, and although the homework load is going to get slightly heavier (JUUUST a tad), I’ll be adjusted.
And she, on the other hand, does not have the exhaustion that follows me home everyday and thus has a lot of time to well…study. What do I do? I get home at 5, usually 6:30, on a regular school day and I go on the forums, facebook, etc., for a cumulative hour or two while doing homework and stuff, and since I require quite a bit of sleep to function, I sleep at 10:30 or earlier. I wake up before 6:00 the next day because I like eating my breakfast.
See, all these little idiosyncrasies of mine actually amount to a lot of time (rhyme, anyone?), but I am still able to cope with maintaining straight A’s!!! Knock on wood. And the fact that she isn’t doing anything with her time (except what—oh, piano? Violin?) makes me better, because she isn’t beating me by so many points that I am absolutely owned (I mean, you guys have to admit; just because she gets high grades and stuff [100, whatever], I’m still getting A’s of around 93/94, and six points really isn’t that much.
And see, if it were Dennis who was in my grade, I would be very worried. He is absolutely genius man because he just is Dennis and there is no way like ever I would be able to beat him ever and he actually is active in school (tennis, FBLA, jazz band) as in something OTHER THAN academically related stuff (math, science), and that’s perfectly fine, because he’s cool about it and doesn’t go around having this holier-than-thou attitude. Okay he has a white complex. I know, Dennis; it’s okay, haha. =D
Yeah so my point is that Lisa always wins according to the Lisa Law. It’s a winning situation for me, because I am so incredibly busy (I believe? Haha it was super bad during basketball season, like seriously) and I am not too shabby in school.
Wow this was a seriously pointless post. It has like no conclusion whatsoever. It seems to be a compilation of useless anecdotes that are followed by even more useless analyses of said anecdotes, aka, essays.
Oh, my other point is that the “azn mob” is unhealthy because it is necessary to be IN society and not OUT of it. I’d rather sit with Horace and do my homework than laugh about something that I don’t think is funny. I’d rather sit on the floor and hang out with a bunch of guys before school than hug my books and complain about school and gossip or whatever it is the other side of the 600s hallway does.
Another thing I would like to state (I know; it’s getting late) is that I am becoming more comfortable with being alone. I no longer have this ever-present fear that everyone is going to judge me for being a social recluse when I sit on the Commons floor by myself and brush my hair absentmindedly (hey, it’s what I do =P), because I myself know that a lot of people like me and are going to take it that I am as Walter Allen says it: “the vision of the man who allows himself to be destroyed rather than to compromise with phoniness” (in reference to Salinger and Holden Caulfield from Catcher in the Rye). I know it is necessary to be phony to survive in this world, but…yeah. I can cope.
Also I have come to the conclusion that I have practically no hormones at all. I feel none of this urge to roll my pants down three times and wear skanky tops and wear Uggs and be all touchyfeely with girls or guys (I don’t know, the whole…glompwheneveryouseesomeone thing makes me squirm with discomfort). You know what? I’m really super glad that I don’t have those feelings, because I’d like to keep my stable relationships with my friends, thankyouverymuch.
DON’T READ THIS NEXT PART IF YOU WANT TO BE DEAD WITH HORACE-PIMPING.
Okay, obviously Horace is an exception to this stable relationship with friends thing (WHY DO I ALWAYS END UP MENTIONING YOU?! [wo]MAN!!!! *sighs exasperatedly*), because he isn’t a friend; he’s a bfflyfh. Wait, I just realized that this paragraph has nothing to do with the one above. Oh well; basically, my point [point? What point?] is that Horace and I will always be BFFLYFHS forever and forever and forever because we have the power to read each other’s minds like seriously no joke and if I ever liked him in…THAT way I would probably shoot myself after shooting him. With an imaginary gun that hurt, of course.
Yeah but I don’t really care anymore what other people say about Horace and me; I mean it’s always fun to know (just for fun; I’m weird like that) if some rumors like that are going around, but you know what? Horace is too good of a person that I can’t just leave him behind to save my own face.
By the way my dictionary isn’t finished yet. I have all the entries (I believe) and I think I’ll write them…sometime. What pen did you use, geez?! =0 I’ll give you it before Spring Break, though; at least I’m going to try.
END THE PART ABOUT HORACE-PIMPING.
Dorrie overstretched her calf muscle or something; like it was one of those things when you’re too tired and suddenly…KAPOW OH MAN!!! But yeah I’m a great person and I stay with her and try to like comfort her (in my awkward way that I comfort people that I don’t really like because I don’t appreciate the rumored things that said people say about me and my peeps) and stuff. Yeah and I look out for her. We cool. So that’s my Lisa!generosity for the day. Haha it’s okay; I’m not THAT mean-spirited. =DDD But yeah, just shows I can do something good for people. Besides, I wanted to. How bad would it be if she just like…killed her leg? =0 I was worried, to say the least.
Yeah so by not being part of the azn mob, I have a FREEDOM like no other and I am SO happy I was kicked out of said azn mob by said azn mob girls for some reason or other (to this day, I still cannot pinpoint the exact reasons), because now I don’t have to superficially stick to a person from the azn mob everyday just to prove that I am friends with said azn mob person or whatever. That’s a burden I’d rather live without.
Highlight of the week:
I GOT A LAMINATED PERIODIC TABLE!!! YES I AM SO HAPPY YES YES YES YES YES. But now I have to give it away again…HAHA I AM JAYKAYY ILU AND I WILL DO THE HEAVENLY REDEMPTION THING. *Lightning and thunder crash all around*
Lowlight of next week:
March 28, the first annual.
It’s been a year. A year. That blows my mind away.
How quickly the days pass.
How is it?
–Lisa
